Being new to San Antonio has been an adjustment. Becoming a good wife - easy (I'm awesome!). Learning how to cook - took a bit, but Seth's eating. Finding couple friends - WAY HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
When we first got to San Antonio, we were just enjoying our time with each other and settling in. It wasn't too long before I started getting a little stir crazy in the social department and was ready to have some social interactions. We had been attending Community Bible Church for a few weeks and met a great couple named Josh and Kelly. They were fun, young, and married. We hit it off and Seth and I were stoked when they asked us out for a double date. Here is where things got a little tricky...
See Josh and Kelly had previously gone to a little place called "Amazing Jump" on a date night and asked us if we would be up for that. Of course just wanting to get out of the house and hang out with another couple I was down for anything. From the name "Amazing Jump" it would probably easy to assume this story would not end well for me.
Kelly messaged me before hand and told me to wear work out clothes and tennis shoes... after googling what those two items were, I searched through the back of my closet and found my pair of tennis shoes that haven't seen light since Seth tried to go on a "walk" with me. Seth definition of walk and my definiton of walk is apparenlty 2 miles in difference.
We finally arrived to Amazing Jump, a warehouse with wall-to-wall trampolines (literally WALL TO WALL). I immediately notice we are the oldest people in there by about 15 years. I look around for the "How to Catch a Predator" cameras but surprisingly none to be found. Well, I am here... Let's Jump!
I start out with a few baby jumps. It doesn't take long for my husband to begin showing off. Apparently in his life before marriage he worked for cirque of soleil. I had no idea I human could flip like that, let alone my husband. I then start noticing EVERYONE is doing flips, and by everyone I mean even this chunky little nugget who had nothing else going for her was flipping around like she was in a no gravity tank. It was like she was taunting me.
My parents always warned me of peer pressure... never really thought it would apply to a trampoline situation. I just really wanted to fit in... I mean all the cool kids, even the fat litte kid was doing it why couldn't I. Well looking back, there were MANY reasons why I couldn't. Oh about 24 years worth of reason why I couldn't. Did I listen... No... call me a dreamer but by golly I was doing a dang flip.
My husband was just cheering me on the entire time, saying you just have to think you can do it and you can. I should have known right then it would never work. I mean seriously how many times have I thought I could fit into a size 4 dress... yet some how I don't have anyone of those in my closet... no apparently that theory is BUSTED!
Now I am not a complete fool. I did a test run with a front flip. I did ONE front flip, landed on my butt and by that time my adreniline had kicked in enough to make up for 24 years of non athleticness. I was going for it. I did a few jumps to get some momentum... Said to myself... It's only a backflip... and I went for it...
Well from what the onlookers say, I did pretty good until the part where my feet left the trampoline and I got into the air... then after that I just ended up catching myself... with my neck.
It hurt... Oh it hurt like hell. Not only did I feel like my spine cracked in two, I bite my tongue and I got a mean trampoline burn. I mean I was hurt... I was hurt bad. But you better believe I popped up real quick... I mean seriously this was the FIRST time we were hanging out with our new friends.. I couldn't let them know I literally thought I just broke my back on a trampoline fun house. We had only been there for FIFTEEN MINUTES... They would never want to hang out with us again.
I don't even think Seth knew how hurt I was, I just kept playing it off and just kept saying "Ehh I don't feel like jumping anymore." It wasn't until Josh and Kelly were long gone and Seth and I were in the car did I scream out in pain... DEAR GOD I THINK I BROKE MY BACK!!!
I was already hurting, but the next day I woke up stiff as a board. I could barely move. So like many of my daring adventures gone wrong, I ended up in the E.R. It was a little embarrasing telling the doctor how I hurt my back... Oh well you see doc, I went to a trampoline warehouse and tried to do a flip... and the doctor was probably looking at my chart thinking how old is this girl again.
Luckily I didn't break anything, just apparently jammed a few ribs, bruised the bone, and got a case of whiplash. AWESOME!
So was a backflip on a trampoline a good idea for me... probably not. Should I have let a chunky little girl with apparently God-given aerobatic skills make me feel ashamed... no. Will my future children ever have a trampoline... HECK NO.
Sometimes I feel I couldn't make my life up even if I tried. My back is still hurt. This was over a month ago and I am still going to the chiropractor. Sure, I should have listened to my 24 years of failed attempts at anything athletic... but I can't help but be proud of that little dreamer inside me that just said do it. And as for that little chucky circus freak probably still flipping around...You may have won the battle... but I'll win the war.
As for Josh and Kelly... We are still friends... So it was a Win/Lose situation. A win for the friends and a lose for the back... but hey gotta take the good with the bad right. They were worth it :)
-Kels
Friday, May 13, 2011
Put It On My Tab!
Since I can remember I have been what I like to call a "mouth breather". I view my nose like I view decorative pillows on a bed... they really serve no purpose but they look cute. My nose basically sits on my face... like a piece of play-doh God delicately placed on my face and then accidently squashed in. I always assumed this was normal... you know... everyone just breathing out of their mouth... 100% of the time. Well apparently its not.
I recently had an MRI done for my chronic migraines (just another joy of my genetic make up I am blessed with)... all came out great... they found out I had a brain... GREAT NEWS (I know my parents questioned this fact many times during my teenage years). But the results of my MRI did discover...not one but two polyps just chilling in my nasal cavaity with no cares of moving any time soon. So the neurologist sent me over to the great people of the Ear Thoat and Nose Specialist of San Antonio.
So apparently the ETN doctors may know whats up with peoples facial cavities but not so much on how to accommodate waiting patients. First off... I am pretty sure every single magazine in there was circa 2007... give me a break... if I wanted to read a history book I would go to a library... and second... I am not to fond of children. Which that statement might sound a little harsh and broad at first but when I am sitting in a doctors waiting room I cant always help but to think they should hand out leashes at the door. I mean seriously who knows what kind of airborne illness your little nugget is rocking... obviously I am breathing out of a hole that is like 90% bigger than what everyone is so I am probably about 90% more likely to catch their gunk. I don't need your little chubacabra all up in my grill with snot running down there nose and them trying to hand me cherrios.
When I FINALLY got back to the doctors office... the real fun began. Now not being one to partake in recreational drugs as a teen I am not to fond of have liquid shot up my nose. The sensation not only made me sneeze ALL over myself but apparently the numbing sensation effect it was meant to have didn't quite work well on me so when the doctor "gently" placed the scope down my nose I felt every single twist and turn. At this point all I cold think was "Thank God I am a mouth breather or else I would be suffacating right now... how I am supposed to breath with this crap in my nose."
This may sound weird, but I love with doctors find something wrong with me (at this point its like a "put on my tab" kinda feeling)... It is never the common cold, or a slight infection, it is always something quote "impressive". I can't quite feel a little pride at being the best at being bad (in the health sense). I feel like I am the girl the doctors like to see... the one that shakes things up. They look at me with envy and think "Dang, that girl has some impressive polyps." Sure I may not be able to run more than a mile... or heck even a mile without killing over like a fish out of water... but you better believe I can rock a mean mass in my nasal cavity.
Now sure, I was blessed with some "visable" disablities.... you know the five head, the crooked knees, the extremely high butt crack. But nose polyps... no one can see those. Well...apparently you can hear them. My family is constantly making fun of the way I talk. I believe the most common statement is that I sound like my tongue is too large for my mouth, or my personal favorite like Don Vito of Viva La Bam. I have recently come to learn the polyps have actually interfered with my speech... again.. put it on my tab
I actually have the joy of adding another unique trait to the list. This trait did not take a test, a scan, or a diagnosis to figure out. Nope. The doctor took one look at me and said, "You my lady, look like an allergic kid." I thought to myself, how did he know. I immediately checked my nose for a booger hanging out or to see if my eyes were watering. No sign of any liquid... What was it? Apparently this doctor see the history of being an overweight asthmatic child in my eyes. He could see all the windy spring days you would find me standing at the glass door like a puppy waiting for his master to come up, just yearning to go out and play. On the time I had to leave a camping trip early because I tree was in season... come on. This guy was good.
So whats the cure for these little rocks blocking my nose from knowing the feeling of air rushing through my two nose holes or knowing the feeling of what is like to go outside in the spring without waterproof mascara on. Well the first step will be allergy testing... which I am sure I can save a lot money and just tell the tester all of them, but I will take them just for kicks. Then once the allergies are figured out, the allergy shots will begin. Later down the road there may be surgery. But until then, and until I part with my two polyps... I shall embrace them for what they are, a part of me and there is really nothing more to add but to say is put it on my tab... and thank God for good health insurance :)
- Kels
I recently had an MRI done for my chronic migraines (just another joy of my genetic make up I am blessed with)... all came out great... they found out I had a brain... GREAT NEWS (I know my parents questioned this fact many times during my teenage years). But the results of my MRI did discover...not one but two polyps just chilling in my nasal cavaity with no cares of moving any time soon. So the neurologist sent me over to the great people of the Ear Thoat and Nose Specialist of San Antonio.
So apparently the ETN doctors may know whats up with peoples facial cavities but not so much on how to accommodate waiting patients. First off... I am pretty sure every single magazine in there was circa 2007... give me a break... if I wanted to read a history book I would go to a library... and second... I am not to fond of children. Which that statement might sound a little harsh and broad at first but when I am sitting in a doctors waiting room I cant always help but to think they should hand out leashes at the door. I mean seriously who knows what kind of airborne illness your little nugget is rocking... obviously I am breathing out of a hole that is like 90% bigger than what everyone is so I am probably about 90% more likely to catch their gunk. I don't need your little chubacabra all up in my grill with snot running down there nose and them trying to hand me cherrios.
When I FINALLY got back to the doctors office... the real fun began. Now not being one to partake in recreational drugs as a teen I am not to fond of have liquid shot up my nose. The sensation not only made me sneeze ALL over myself but apparently the numbing sensation effect it was meant to have didn't quite work well on me so when the doctor "gently" placed the scope down my nose I felt every single twist and turn. At this point all I cold think was "Thank God I am a mouth breather or else I would be suffacating right now... how I am supposed to breath with this crap in my nose."
This may sound weird, but I love with doctors find something wrong with me (at this point its like a "put on my tab" kinda feeling)... It is never the common cold, or a slight infection, it is always something quote "impressive". I can't quite feel a little pride at being the best at being bad (in the health sense). I feel like I am the girl the doctors like to see... the one that shakes things up. They look at me with envy and think "Dang, that girl has some impressive polyps." Sure I may not be able to run more than a mile... or heck even a mile without killing over like a fish out of water... but you better believe I can rock a mean mass in my nasal cavity.
Now sure, I was blessed with some "visable" disablities.... you know the five head, the crooked knees, the extremely high butt crack. But nose polyps... no one can see those. Well...apparently you can hear them. My family is constantly making fun of the way I talk. I believe the most common statement is that I sound like my tongue is too large for my mouth, or my personal favorite like Don Vito of Viva La Bam. I have recently come to learn the polyps have actually interfered with my speech... again.. put it on my tab
I actually have the joy of adding another unique trait to the list. This trait did not take a test, a scan, or a diagnosis to figure out. Nope. The doctor took one look at me and said, "You my lady, look like an allergic kid." I thought to myself, how did he know. I immediately checked my nose for a booger hanging out or to see if my eyes were watering. No sign of any liquid... What was it? Apparently this doctor see the history of being an overweight asthmatic child in my eyes. He could see all the windy spring days you would find me standing at the glass door like a puppy waiting for his master to come up, just yearning to go out and play. On the time I had to leave a camping trip early because I tree was in season... come on. This guy was good.
So whats the cure for these little rocks blocking my nose from knowing the feeling of air rushing through my two nose holes or knowing the feeling of what is like to go outside in the spring without waterproof mascara on. Well the first step will be allergy testing... which I am sure I can save a lot money and just tell the tester all of them, but I will take them just for kicks. Then once the allergies are figured out, the allergy shots will begin. Later down the road there may be surgery. But until then, and until I part with my two polyps... I shall embrace them for what they are, a part of me and there is really nothing more to add but to say is put it on my tab... and thank God for good health insurance :)
- Kels
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